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About me

Emily Schrooten and I at my senior prom 2001 (I actually own that suit!)I don't think we've been properly introduced. Hello, my name is Gabe, what's yours? My friends sometimes call me funkywizard, which is my preferred nick, but they usually laugh at me when they do. So, where are you from and what's brought you to this part of the world may I ask? Anyone who is so inclined can email me at Funkytown65@hotmail.com I would appreciate not being spammed or mail bombed, but its not all that important because I'm used to it and can deal with it. Also available is the ever present icq (#45162987) and msn messenger (same as email). Specifically, if you knew me in high school please contact me.
This website (and many others too!) was built by the one known as the "FunkyWizard". I am often asked what made me choose that name. It all harkens back to when I had to choose a hotmail address freshman year. I wanted something comptuer-wizard-y but alas so many good choices were taken. At the time, my hygene was less than my current standards (if you can even imagine) and so explains the addition of "funky" to the name. To keep the name short, I just made it FunkyWizard. That's the long answer. The short answer is it is a random name that had no meaning and I have slowly come to like it more and more as my nick. Since that fateful day, that particular hotmail account has been deleted, but nevertheless, the FunkyWizard moniker lives on.
this photo of me is out of dateAs of this writing (July 2001 to be exact) I have graduated from west anchorage high school in alaska and am planning to attend university of alaska fairbanks as a computer science major this fall. I have been accepted, and now all I really need to do is pack and turn in my housing application.... uh oh. Anywho, it should be sweet up at uaf since they have an oc12 line there (650 megabits of pure internet power). With this amazing connection, I will serve the videos that are to come on this site and also anything else I might think of doing with that much speed.
So, "what does he do in his spare time?" you probably are not asking yourself. Well, since I don't have a job (more on that later) and no girlfriend right now, not a whole lot. As you might guess, I spend a lot of time at the arcade playing dance dance revolution and making websites. I like to bicycle when I can get people to go with me and sometimes when I can't. I went to a Mexico trip this summer which was cool, and also went to california (with my grandma), which was dull. I've been spending quite a bit of time with Scott "Scojo" Johnson as of late, which if anything, is interesting. His driving habits alone are enough to make any outing exciting. It's not really his fault though when I volunteer to ride on top of his roof. And ah yes, the Carwash. I mustn't forget about riding through the carwash. And you never get "bored" when you hear him say "wanna die!?" as he drives possibly faster than he should be in his mom's car. My best friend is of course Jaedon, who will be staying in the same dorm as me in college. I can't think of anything else to say about Jaedon at the moment, except Visit his website.
Oh yeah. I promised to tell you why I don't have a job. Well, the obvious answers are easy: I'm too lazy. I don't have to work for my money. I get everything I need and a substantial portion of what I want without doing anything. The not so obvious answers, the ones commonly referred to as "excuses" are what keep myself from being too unhappy about not making something of myself. First off is the excuse I don't even believe that some people who don't want to make me feel bad tell me: I should enjoy my summer, working can wait. This might be true if I had ever had a job before, but since I have not, it's hardly a valid excuse. I've "enjoyed" all my previous summers, which not only pretty much sucked but got me no money. I think if I had no computer and hence nothing to do all day I would probably get a job just to relieve the monotony of a 14 hour sleep cycle followed by a 10 hour "rest" cycle. However, since I have my computer, I need to come up with more excuses, ur, reasons why I don't get a job.
The next topic deals with qualifications. I don't feel particularly qualified for any job I think I could get that wouldn't suck a lot. I wouldn't too much mind a job that sucks, but not if it sucks a lot. I don't have the "years of experience and proper schooling" required to get a professional tech job, and the more I learn about computers the more I realize there is I need to learn. As for a non-professional tech job (?) I don't really want to take the bus all the way out to dimond center to work for compusa fixing computers for $6.50 an hour when they charge users like $100 bucks to get thier computer fixed. Besides which, getting A+ certified didn't really work out as I had hoped, seeing as how the practice tests on which I trained and got more than passing grades on (85%), became out of date well before I got into a situation where I would be taking the test. That and the high costs of the tests (over $200) makes it so I don't want to take the chance of failing.
So if a tech job is out of the question, you may ask me "why not start at the bottom like everyone else?". Well as I see it there are two problems with this. First the obvious one that all of you who have to work in fast food will hate me for. Working at Mc-Donalds sucks. You get paid crap, and sure you can get free food, but who really wants to work really hard all day for minimum wage? I think basically I have to be being paid at least $7 an hour or at a minimum be doing something I truly enjoy before it would be worth more to me to work than to sit on my lazy ass. Secondly, to work in the "food service industry" I would generally assume would require some decent hygene. Sure I can "clean up well" as my friends say, but every day? And besides, I would always be worried if I am getting some personal nastiness in the food. It would suck. The upside to this kind of job is you are almost gaurunteed to be hired, and if you even marginally do the work they probably won't fire you at most places.
The next place to think of working is a department store type of operation. I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner, but basically if you show up in decent clothes (gotta get me some decent clothes) and do what the boss tells you to do, you can probably do this job. I don't know much about clothes though, and would therefore not be able to help customers. Also I am really bad at selling stuff, and would therefore not be much help to the store.
You may think I'm done, but I've got two whole more major reasons, er excuses, why I don't get a job. Number one: As I see it, I wouldn't mind having a job, but don't really feel like going through the effort of getting a job. So many forms to fill out, irs, social security, withholdings, underage employment forms, interview, resume, blah blah blah. Screw it. Time to find a way to make some money the grey market way; the Internet! Unfortunatly it's harder than ever to find easy money on the internet nowadays, which is compounded by the fact that I don't "officially" have internet access right now. Oh right; reason 2. Well, the next good reason I can see for not getting a job is my extreme procrastination. By using this super power, I have made it so that even if I found a job right today, I would only be able to work there for the next month before I have to be in Fairbanks, therefore rending useless any possible job search effort on my part.
Now you see how many factors and intesive thought processes go into being a lazy bum. It ain't easy and don't let anyone ever tell you it is. I think I have only scratched the surface here, but luckily most of you stopped reading long ago in this article. Hmm, I guess I should find some way to reward those of you who have actually read all the way down to this far... think think think.... ah well screw it. Just remember the magic word is farkle and all will be well. Bye bye and have fun in the real world.


 
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